Michael Callen
Tops and Bottoms Music (BMI)
A man came by the other day
He said he’d been sent
By the U. S. government
And the President
[Oh, I was so impressed…]
He produced a long, long form
He looked me in the eye
“Tell the truth now, do not lie
Here’s the reason why”
He said
“We worship the family
We say how it’s supposed to be
We insist on conformity, you see
We define the family
Question one; this household
List each occupant
Say how related and how old
And, do you own or rent?
And may I presume you’re married?”
I said, “In a sense…”
“And children? Perhaps two point five?
And a picket fence?”
He smiled and said
“A wife and kids! Now that’s a family!
The backbone of our democracy
The way the Bible says it should be
that’s how we define the family!”
Well-a, well-a, well-a
I had sworn to tell the truth and
I don’t like to lie
I said
“Sir, you’re misinformed
Please allow me to clarify.”
Then I told him
We define our family
We offer no apology
We celebrate our diversity, you see
We define our family
My lover’s name is Richard
His lover’s name is Pat
We’re one big happy family
Is there a box for that?
We live here with Pam and Lyn
They’re lesbians and lovers
Together, we’re raising three great kids
Gertrude, and her two brothers
You see
We’ll define our own family
We practice creativity
We teach respect for diversity
you see
We define our family
Well-a, well-a, well the
Poor man seemed to lose his cool, he shouted:
“This is OUTRAGEOUS!”
“You’d better go then,” I replied,
“Cause it may be contagious!”
And I told him
Redefine the family
So it includes you and me
We must teach respect for diversity
We’ll design our own family
Our family
We are family!